Friday, July 23, 2010

100 Word Zombie Tips #19 "Pinch Weapons #1 'The Sweat Sock Morning Star.'"

There will be no countdown when the zombies attack. The world will be safe, then it will not be. Unprepared? Unarmed? Did you wear clean socks?

In a pinch, you can use your socks and a heavy object to build a makeshift morning star.
  1. Put one sock inside the other, doubling the fabrics thickness.
  2. Insert a heavy, solid object (or multiple solid objects) into the socks.
  3. Tie it off below the attacking mass.
Swing this weapon in a downward arc (Not sideways! Centripetal force will bring it towards you if you miss.) The weight and speed should fracture a skull.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

100 Word Zombie Tips #18 "Rationing Physically"

The average person requires roughly eighteen-hundred calories daily. During an extended outbreak rations may be scarce. To be sure you have enough food to survive an outbreak with minimal exposure from scavenging, you’ll need to keep physical activity to a minimum.

  • Avoid pacing or other nervous activities.
  • Carry everything you need, not everything you want. The more you carry, the more rations you’ll require.
  • Don’t burn more calories retrieving food than the food is worth callorically. Walking a mile for water chestnuts could result in a net loss of calories.
  • A half hour of sex: One-hundred and fifty calories. Sorry.

    Wednesday, July 21, 2010

    100 Word Zombie Tips #17 "Alive Inside"

    We believe that a permanent zombie apocalypse is unlikely. Due to the amount of training and firepower possessed by the military, police, and militias of the world, the cavalry IS coming eventually. When they do, how do you safely notify them.

    The simplest way is to write “Alive inside,” on or near the highest traffic area; with the number of alive listed. If looters or other dangerous individuals are an issue, double the number of people, and add “, armed, be careful.”

    Also, if you have access to a flag, display it upside down; it’s an international sign of distress.

    Source: Police officer.

    Tuesday, July 20, 2010

    100 Word Zombie Tips #16 "How to Make Sandbags"

    Barricades made of debris and plywood should keep out zombies, but they will provide little or no bullet resistance. Dangerous survivors, desperate looters, even stray bullets may go right through your defenses and injure someone in your group. The solution? Homemade sand bags.

    1. Gather pillow cases, garbage bags, or shirts tied off at the neck and arms.
    2. Fill them with dirt, sand, flower, sugar, cornstarch, potting soil from indoor plants. Anything that behaves like sand will work like sand.
    3. Tie off the open ends, and stack them as needed to provide an interior bunker, fall back location, or makeshift wall.

    Monday, July 19, 2010

    100 Word Zombie Tips #15 "When the Police Arrive"

    Regardless of the state of society, when a police officer arrives on the scene, you MUST defer to them. The reason? If they feel threatened, they might shoot you.

    Listen to any instructions you’re given and follow them without hesitation. There will be time to explain once the officer feels safe.

    Keep your hands in view. Don’t reach into pockets, even for identification, until asked. You may be asked to turn away from the officer.

    Tell the officer about any concealed weapons you are carrying. For visible or carried weapons, the officer will instruct you how to deal with these.

    Source: Police Officer (Verified by second officer.)

    Sunday, July 18, 2010

    100 Word Zombie Tips #14 "How to Siphon Fuel"

    by Dave Terry

    To travel during a complete societal breakdown like a zombie apocalypse, you’ll need gas. Without power, pumps will not function. You’ll need to syphon fuel from abandoned vehicles.

    (Some newer models have a screen, so look for a older vehicle.)

    1) Feed a rubber hose approximately a half inch wide and five feet long into the open gas tank; twist as you push to manage any curves.

    2) When you’re halfway in, blow and listen for bubbles.

    3) If you hear bubbles, give one hard suck to get the gas flowing, then push the hose into the gas can. Gravity will take over.