Thursday, July 22, 2010

100 Word Zombie Tips #18 "Rationing Physically"

The average person requires roughly eighteen-hundred calories daily. During an extended outbreak rations may be scarce. To be sure you have enough food to survive an outbreak with minimal exposure from scavenging, you’ll need to keep physical activity to a minimum.

  • Avoid pacing or other nervous activities.
  • Carry everything you need, not everything you want. The more you carry, the more rations you’ll require.
  • Don’t burn more calories retrieving food than the food is worth callorically. Walking a mile for water chestnuts could result in a net loss of calories.
  • A half hour of sex: One-hundred and fifty calories. Sorry.


    1. Only 150 calories? You are either doing it really right, or really wrong! Either way, calories be damned, I'm shagging the apocalypse away.

    2. At least use protection. You can't risk illness or pregnancy. Even if you don't keep the kid, good luck finding a way to get rid of it that doesn't pose more risks than it's worth...


    We welcome your comments, theories and alternate ideas!